You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
