last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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