all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
