yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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