i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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