dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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