I can tuck mytits in my pants
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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