people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just found puke in my bra..
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
