i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Such a big mess for such a small penis
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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