sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
