I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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