No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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