i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0