Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
25 Facts Men Donâ€™t Know About Women Until They Live Together
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...