that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
you never un-have a 4some
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
