Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
