Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
