dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
