2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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