Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
barbara walters just said penis...
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
