Where is the hickey?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
