So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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