Kiss
Puke
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize