I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just found a bag of teeth...
you inspire me to be a worse person
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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