took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize