Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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