He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
