that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
