Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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