is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
