Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
