Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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