Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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