today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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