The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
