remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
