You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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