wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
