the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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