We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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