Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
