Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
