So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Girls should come with a carfax report
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
