Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
