so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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