so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
