ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
