Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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