Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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