If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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