your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
