Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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