"it" just moved
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
