I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
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