You're completely useless in the revolution.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
