Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
