I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
