My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
