Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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